If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
