I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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