Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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