That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
