I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
