i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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