Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Even my vagina gasped.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
