sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
