I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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