I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
