I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
You ruined the universe
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
