D3 body, D1 cock
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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