Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
a search helicopter?!
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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