i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Randomize
