This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
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