Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
