Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
