OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
too bad you live with your parents still
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
