I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize