Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
