if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Can i not drive my cunt home
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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