An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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