my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
