carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
