yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
