the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
