This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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