Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
