i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
