were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
