Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
