all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
It's official drugs can't kill me
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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