No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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