those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
