I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Quick, to the slutcave!
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
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