I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize
