so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
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Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Less talking, more tequila
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
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you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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