the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
