Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
how does that bad decision feel?
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