Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
