I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
