I just cut my nipple shaving
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
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