she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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