I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
