Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Randomize
