That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
