problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
