he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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