The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
