Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
She announced her abortion via fbk
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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