i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Randomize
