she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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