im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
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