I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
