'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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