mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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