why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Small penises have feelings too.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
