Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
